Well, if the quotation marks aren’t enough for a disclaimer, let me just say that I only used this expression to express the thought that I was writing about them and then his name suddenly popped up my Facebook page and do not mean anything to relate him to “the devil”. I just hope we’re clear here.

Okay. Well… I never planned for this kind of introduction but since we’re here, let’s just keep going.

If you happen to read my blog about my job, you must have already known that there are two persons whom I already considered as my “most-valued” friendst there. We have only known each other for a few weeks but I really felt sad when they have to transfer to another shift leaving me with the other trainees.

I may sound rude but I am sure the others can notice this already. That I treat these two a little different than theirs. They don’t even care at all. Which makes my work a little lighter.

And so there. I am writing this because I can’t find any other way to express my sadness-covered-by-i-can-do-it-facade. I used to be an extrovert locked inside a shy-at-first girl’s body. In every conversation, I was never expected to provide the topic or sustain the flow of it but as I know the person, I get comfortable and further unleashing my extrovertedness. I am noisy, silly. I react on impulse. I am childish.

I love people. It’s just that I am poor when it comes to nurturing the relationship. I always feel that I annoy every person that I talk to and these two, I know I have never been so wrong on my theory. I know I annoy them by my constant attempts of being close to them. I am but a happy kid when even for the last time, we spent time together and took pictures that somehow showed the playful side of us just like before, when my childishness hasn’t crossed the line of their patience.

Jedi (blue) RK (pink) me (yellow)

There.

I don’t know what to say anymore. I really just want to pour out my emotions. Like how I miss them. So much.

I used to go outside our building with Jedi to buy pizza kariman at a nearby Ministop. I used to have lunch breaks with RK. I used to be so happy during our shift because I can talk to them through this official messenger of the company called Spark. I used to be excited to go to work to see them. I used to loiter with RK as we savor the remains of our one hour break —- mostly at TL Nathan’s station where I stopped going to now during lunch.

Now, everything has changed. I have never eaten a kariman since, I microwave my food alone, I go back to my station after eating, I lost interest in Spark. Miserable might be a very big word but during the first days, it really felt close to it. I am sorry for the other people around me because I always look for the ones not around. I don’t know but it’s just really hard to accept because like what I’ve said, I valued them so much already.

So much that I have written it here where the whole WWW can read about how unhappy I am at this point in my career life.

I know. I believe. I envision. That one day, I’ll be able to get by. If they can they so can I. There will come a time when I’ll look back at this post and just laugh at myself on how emotional I have become towards these two persons whom I have once shared a great friendship with.

Yes, friendship.

plends = friends /f/, /r/

If you are or were a Neungyule teacher, you will understand this at first glance. But if not, let me explain it briefly.

In Neungyule, we teach Korean students how to use the English language in their daily lives. We don’t go much into the principles but we make sure that we are able to provide new information after each class. And the equation thingy above is an example of that. Those are called ‘encodings’. A part of the teaching so that the students will be able to note about their pronunciation and grammar errors as well as the proper way to say it.

In my almost two months of stay in this company, I have never felt so bored than last Friday. When I did less things than I usually do.

Which made me miss the only persons whom I have easily learned to get along with from the start. I have said this a lot of times but there really is something about them, I don’t know what, but they are so special to me now.

Maybe there really are persons that are just like that. Maybe it’s in their personality. Besides I haven’t really met such persons. They were able to understand me even if we’re just a few weeks in each others’ company. I admire their sense of humor, the clever jokes that we pass on to each other and the happiness that they bring. The I-have-never-felt-like-this-before happiness if I may say.

Now that we can rarely see each other, I became afraid of what will happen to me as I continue my Neungyule life without them. I even dreaded that they might forget me. Honestly, it pains my heart even until now.

Good thing, the signs have been very clear into relaying the messages to me. Yes, I value them a lot and our shift differences should not change that. Even if their pleasantry towards may change, I will still consider them as my most valued friends. I miss them every minute. I can only hope they knew.

In this world, people really come and go. I have proven that a couple of times. The big difference comes from the way of dealing with the loss or departure. We cannot tie all the people that we love on our waists just because we got used to always being with them. People are people. We learn from different experiences. Take goodbyes as a challenge of becoming the most of what the people in your life have brought you. No matter how long or short they stayed in your life.